Self Love In All The Right Places

I write this as I finished up mopping the floors that my son keeps peeing on while we potty train. Yay. I was also inspired by the IG @Celebface and all the photoshopping going on. I completely understand that photoshop is the way of the world and is probably not going to go away and if tweaking a hairline or brightening your skin makes you feel better, who am I to judge? But, I also do know that I am a grown ass woman who knows that photoshop exists on every corner and that knowledge doesn’t stop me from doing the worst possible thing: comparing. I remember bringing this up in a women’s group and felt a little chastised that I should know better. I can argue, sure, I do know better, but that doesn’t mean I feel better. I’m a 100% mother, 100% wife, 100% sister, daughter, friend, and just a kiss of insecure. In all actuality everyone is.

None of these women on Instagram and Pinterest are you. I’m not saying they all edit their photos, but you know damn well that they are posing/grabbing the best light/sucking in at that right sec, whatever it is to make themselves feel worthy to post a photo. I’m not saying this is wrong, I do it for sure. I’m not about to show you my five head or butt chin on full display, but I’m trying to embrace these changes to show that my uniqueness is what makes me different and bad ass. No one has had the experiences I have had or read the same books I have or traveled the same streets with the same people that I have. I want to be able to learn from my sisters and not see them as competition but as helpful hands reaching out to guide me to my goals. The best way of getting these results is to be these results. “Be the change.” I’m sure these words were spoken to make waves in the Instagram community.

I did an experiment and took a photo of myself and then edited it. Below are the results. I basically made my skin look brighter than any mineral veil could and made my waist smaller. To me, there wasn’t anything wrong with the first photo, but after I made the edits I realized how much better I could personally look. It was a strange pseudo-argument I was having internally. Was I editing for the people seeing the photo or for myself? Who can really answer that? …I was definitely editing for both. I wanted to include this for the sake of people who are unknowing ingesting thousands of photoshopped images a day. Even tiny changes make a difference and cause you to look at yourself and wonder why you can’t get your skin to look that flawless or eyes that bright or waist that tiny, whatever it may be. Please realize, photoshop is the Kirby. Everyone’s got em even though lots of people think they’re annoying.

 

I recently had the wonderful opportunity to take family photos. Now, I am not that bitch…I’m VERY bad at organizing family photos, getting excited for things I use to always assume frivolous. Like buying Halloween costumes. Anyway, the photos were amazing, the photographer was amazing, the experience was great (aside from the fact that I got spider bites and my son was being so crazy he was making me literally sweat). So, if you’re ever in the San Antonio area and need a photographer who is SO good with children and extremely fast with the turn around times of editing and sending back photos that are gorgeous you should hit my girl up on IG @LittleOnionPhotographyCo

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While the initial feelings on this blog started to stem from this session, I had recently practiced doing various Halloween looks on myself and had to take selfies as a result. This caused me to really pick myself apart. One friend, who shall remain nameless, took the brunt of this self-deprecation. I cannot thank her enough for constantly lifting me up and constantly reminded me that my nose wasn’t crooked (it is a little, ugh whatever), I’m not fat, and whatever little insult I could throw my own way. I realized how it was a cycle of taking photos, hating myself, lifting myself up by editing, which caused more self-hatred. And the cycle continued. So, when I received the gorgeous photos back, my initial reaction was to pick them apart like Thanksgiving turkey (I am full of metaphors today). So, instead, I am going to publish them here. 🙂 Enjoy. I’m going to grab the ones I thought made me cringe the most, all of them are pretty amazing and beautiful, I just have an inconsolable ability to point out every day thing about myself (but I know I’m not alone here ladies. I know) The first step to getting over myself is going to be the ability to laugh at myself.

And that folks is something I am exceptionally good at (again full disclosure I’ve been working out like a motha focker since and also, may have gotten makeup that matched my skin – baby steps).

So, here’s an extra chin for every year Mateo has been alive. I still love this photo though. Look how happy Victor and Mateo look. I’m certain my son is going for my jugular, but no one else is.

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This one looks like I may cut you in a dark alley or you can drown in my wrinkles, but my eyes look pretty blue and I’m showing off my bling.

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I recognize this one is probably just one I don’t like, but ehhh whatever.

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In response to the myriad of thoughts I have that are trying to punch their way onto this post, I decided a list of how to do you would be best for expression my feelings and opinions.

  1. Recognize you are different than anyone else who has ever been and who will ever be.
  2. Know you are beautiful.
  3. You are more than your physical appearances. When I listed what I was and what I think I am most proud for, no physical traits come to mind. This is for a reason.
  4. Remind yourself that comparison helps no one and only causes you more grief.
  5. Step up your game in helping out your sisters.
  6. Do things that make you happy.
  7. You know what they say about idle hands…always keep yourself and your mind busy. That’s one of the first things they teach you when you run sprints in track. Don’t look at the competition, it only slows you down. This is applicable for life.
  8. Find your best angle.
  9. Realize that bitch ^ will let you down sometimes.
  10. And as all my life lessons go, fuck em. 🙂

Bonus tips for family photo shoots**

  1. Wear what makes you feel beautiful.
  2. Find the right photographer.
  3. Find the sun.
  4. Feed your baby beforehand.
  5. Do you makeup modestly, not too much.
  6. Don’t wear SPF.
  7. Research some poses you like.
  8. Be natural.
  9. A good photographer will find the sweet moments for you.

 

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